Frank IlettManchester UnitedSoccer

The Hairy Stand: Frank Ilett’s 493-Day Battle Against the Scissors

In the world of Manchester United, many things have changed over the last 16 months. Managers have come and gone, tactics have shifted from “Gegenpressing” to “Carrickball,” and yet, one thing has remained constant: the steady, unstoppable growth of Frank Ilett’s hair.

Known to millions as The United Strand, Ilett made a fateful vow on October 5, 2024: he would not cut a single lock of his hair until the Red Devils won five games in a row. At the time, it seemed like a reasonable challenge. He didn’t realize he was signing up for nearly 500 days of looking like a member of a 1970s psych-rock band.

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Frank Ilett  TheUnitedStand

The Stats: A Growing Problem

As United takes on West Ham United tonight at the London Stadium, the stakes for Frank’s forehead are at an all-time high.

CategoryThe “Hairy” Details
Days since last haircut493 Days
Managers outlastedErik ten Hag, Ruben Amorim
Current Win Streak4 Games (Man City, Arsenal, Fulham, Tottenham)
Goal to Reach5 Consecutive Wins
Target Barber DateFebruary 11, 2026 (hopefully)

What are the Odds?

The bookmakers have been tracking this “follicle-fiasco” for months. Back in October 2025, odds were as high as 12/1 for a haircut before the international break. Now, with Michael Carrick “at the wheel” and four wins in the bag, the odds of Frank finally seeing a pair of scissors are the shortest they’ve ever been.

However, West Ham has been a “Kryptonite” for United lately, having won their last three home games against the Red Devils. If Bruno Fernandes and Benjamin Šeško can’t find the net tonight, Frank’s hair might officially reach “sentient” status by March.

Will it EVER happen?

Frank recently joked in a viral video about a therapy session on “Day 1000” of the challenge, imagining a world where United loses 3-1 and the hair continues to consume his life. While some fans accused him of “tempting fate,” Frank remains optimistic, thanking Carrick for the recent turnaround.

If it doesn’t happen today? The quest continues. But with his partnership with the Little Princess Trust, every extra inch of hair is actually going toward a good cause—providing wigs for children.

The Verdict: If United clinches that fifth win tonight, the “Short Back and Sides” era begins. If not? We might need to check if the London Stadium has extra-large doorways to accommodate the ever-expanding United Strand.